Looks like some men may need a refresher course on sex ed: Most guys are afraid they could hurt the baby during sex while you're pregnant, according to a new study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
The majority of couples had less sex while the woman was pregnant—but not because it was bad: More than half of the men said they were highly satisfied with the sex and the overall relationship. So why the dry spell? It turns out that 81 percent guys thought intercourse might harm the fetus. Other reasons they gave included not wanting to induce early labor.
Sure, logistically this fear seems pretty legitimate, but experts say it's unfounded. In general, sex during any trimester is safe as long as you're not suffering from any complications, says Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine, who was not part of the study.
"Intercourse is generally safe during pregnancy as long as it's comfortable for the mom," says Kiarra King, M.D., a Chicago-based ob-gyn, who was also not part of the study.
Sex during pregnancy is Intimacy
Sexual intimacy is a normal and healthy part of a committed relationship. Before pregnancy, you likely felt comfortable being intimate with your partner. Now that you're pregnant, you may have questions or feel unsure about having sex with your partner.
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There are lots of myths about sex and pregnancy, such as:
— Sex can be harmful or painful during pregnancy.
— Intercourse could hurt the baby.
— The baby somehow "knows" that sex is taking place.
Truth:
Unless your health care provider advises you otherwise, sex during pregnancy is safe for you and your baby.
As for the baby, he or she has no idea what Mom and Dad are doing. The baby is well protected by a cushion of fluid in the womb and by the mom's abdomen.
When Is sex unsafe during pregnancy?
There are some circumstances that can make sex during pregnancy unsafe. Women who have the following health complications should talk to their health provider before engaging in sex:
A history or risk of miscarriage
— A previous preterm birth or other risk factors for preterm birth
— Unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge or cramping
— Leaking amniotic fluid
— Placenta previa (when the placenta is low and covers the cervix)
— Incompetent cervix (when the cervix is weakened and opens too soon)
— If your pregnancy is considered to be high risk, you may need to be more cautious than other women. Your health care provider may advise you to avoid intercourse for all or part of your pregnancy.
Which sex positions are best during pregnancy?
Positions that work before pregnancy and early in pregnancy can be uncomfortable or even unsafe at later stages of the baby's development. For example, a woman should avoid lying flat on her back (traditional missionary position) after the fourth month of pregnancy because the weight of the growing uterus puts pressure on major blood vessels. Fortunately, there are alternatives to the traditional missionary position. Try these:
Woman on top: This position puts you in control of how fast, slow and comfortable you want to be.
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Spooning: Imagine the way that spoons fit together in the silverware drawer. Lay sideways with your partner lying behind you during sex. This position lowers the amount of pressure placed on your belly.
Hands and knees: This position works best during the first and second trimesters as it also lowers the pressure placed on your belly. But as your belly gets bigger during the very end of pregnancy, you may find this uncomfortable.
More suggestions for you and your partner:
Talk to your partner about your needs in an open and loving way. Be aware of his concerns as well as your own. If you work together, you can figure out how to put a smile on each other's face.
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Let mutual pleasure and comfort be your guide. If something doesn't feel right for either one of you, change what you're doing.
Keep your sense of humor.
To avoid sexually transmitted diseases, use a condom when having sex or have sex with only one person who doesn't have any other sexual partners. Discuss HIV testing for you and your partner with your health care provider.
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If the pregnancy is high risk or if you have any questions at all, ask for help from your health care provider.
How soon can I have sex after giving birth?
Once the baby is born, it's best that you wait until after your postpartum checkup before resuming intercourse. Typically, it takes at least 4 weeks after delivery before a woman feels comfortable and ready for sex. Take heart in the fact that most couples resume an active sex life sometime during the first year of their baby's life.
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